I have no idea how to not think
The 7 days after my panic attack has been strange. I kept myself super busy over the weekend, literally threw myself into work on monday and only stopped to eat and sleep. Nothing else. Well I did attend a colleagues leaving do on wednesday but I wasn't too comfortable as it was loud and busy, so didn't stay long. I haven't slept well all week, eaten ok, haven't been able to focus on one task, been feeling down and lonely even though I've constantly had friends messaging me. The response from this post has been absolutely overwhelming and I am so grateful for all your comments, messages and concerns. Most of you said you could relate and have had panic/anxiety attacks in the past, had never talked about it, had to take days off work because of it, said I was brave for sharing it and some simply said thank you. I am saddened to hear so many could relate but at the same time it made me realise that I am not alone. It happens to all of us. Not going to lie.. I am still struggling and the picture above explains it well. I haven't been able to not think about what happened and move on. I just can't say to myself "that was in the past, it's a new week now". It's easier said than done but I am working on it.
It has definitely helped to take it easy and just relax, say no to invites and be in bed early. Equally, because it's xmas everyone's posting happy jolly family and friends pictures and updates. There are so many events around and you want to be a part of it all. My family is in a different country and london-friends are in other cities around the country or abroad for the holidays. And so what I am saying is.. It's not easy being an "expat", haha.
Tonight I decided to stay in instead of going out. I've had some swedish mulled wine (glögg), skype'd with Katie and Ariel (need to find a way to go to LA next year, miss these girls like crazy) and currently half-watching TV with my flatmate. It's been a pretty great evening.
Again, a slightly depressing post but I just had to rant a little and update you all. Let me finish with a few positive quotes! And when life is not so good, remember that it will not last forever and better days are on the way.